Day 16: Woody's Wharf Blog - Part 1

So here we are over halfway through the 30 day goal, I'm still about a million people short of my 100 follower goal though, but I've got time.

So after having friends in town for the past weekend, I feel like I'm finally starting to get back on track sleep and not-feeling hungover-wise, so that's good. Living in a warm state and growing up in a fairly un-warm state, we tend to have a lot of visitors out here. Usually with people arriving, it typically signals the start of either starting our tour guide services for the weekend or some severe liver damage and fattening food indulgence. Fortunately this time, it was a hybrid of the two--and it actually felt like we were on vacation too, hard to complain about that.

Given that I've now experienced what can only be described as a very chill, relaxing weekend with some great friends who I don't get to see very often, I figure I should recant the epic tale of the weekend that was Woody's Wharf Fiasco (or WWF).

Two of my good girl friends from college/high school and another of my high school buddies flew out to Orange County (the girls coming from MN), the guy coming on over from the AZ. Being that it was summer, Friday, and there were people in town we decided that that was as good of a reason as any to go grab some food and get some libations, so we headed down to a local seafood place in the harbor known only as Woody's Wharf. This was doubly pertinent since another of our good friends from back in MN's name is Woody, so we figured, "Hey what the hell, might as well eat at his wharf." That doesn't sound good...

So there we are in the restaurant, its late afternoon (I'd say fourish) and we're hungry for some fish and a few cocktails. As we walk into the restaurant there is a small waiting area where the restrooms and the hostess station are located. Sitting directly adjacent to the hostess station is a Breathalyzer machine, this beacon of sobriety should have been a sign of the things that were to come.

After waiting for a moment, the hostess seats us and hands us our menus and waters--the usual restaurant shtick ensues. The dining area is arranged in such a way that basically wherever you're sitting, unless your back is to it, you're able to see the harbor through the plate glass wall. So after we order our food, eat it, and order a few more drinks each, someone notices a guy up in the crow's nest of a boat that was docked at outside the restaurant. Now the restaurants that are in the harbor tend to have docks that people can just pull their boats up to and come in for a drink, or have a waitress bring food and/or (or only) drinks onto the boat, which is pretty sweet. So one of the boats must have pulled up and decided, "Hey let's get some food and have a beer before heading out to our original destination." Or at least that's what they should have said.

So there we are eating our food, having our cocktails and now we notice that it's not just a guy up in the crow's nest, its also a woman. She is strategically positioned in a fashion that could only suggest the guy was getting his O's fellated.

So she's basically on her knees, in the crow's nest, the guy is standing up there with his hands on the roof of the crow's nest bracing himself...aaaaand there's a kid in the restaurant watching the whole thing "go down".

This seven year old kid, in all likelihood, has absolutely no idea what's going on. In fact, he probably thinks this nice lady is fixing a zipper or perhaps sewing a new button on this poor man's khaki shorts...poor poor man. And had the "nice lady" continued with her job at hand...the kid would have been none the wiser. It was only when she decided to stand up, assuming her "work" was done, turn around, and pull out a boob when the kid's dad decided to tell him to, "Quit staring and get eating."


At this point we're all cracking up, not just because this dude is getting a beej on the boat in plain sight of the restaurant, but also because the dad had to pretend it wasn't funny and scold his innocent (though now slightly less) son for looking. A few moments later, the two lovebirds come down from their nest (possibly realizing that the glass wall in front of their boat had people behind it?) and go to "freshen up" below deck...wow so many double entendres here I don't even know where to start.

Anyway, so we talk about how funny what we just saw was for a while as we finish our dinner and have a few more drinks. At this point, had we used it, the Breathalyzer in the entryway would have told us that cabbing is a good idea and that driving post-multi-cocktails is a bad idea. So the bill comes and the conversations and drinks are all winding down, the imminent feeling of our departure is weighing down upon us. But before it can fully set in, the "poor man" from the crow's nest comes stumbling up the dock from his boat and comes...enters...walks into the bar, right into the dining area. He walks up to the bar, orders a drink, and then sits down at the table near us.

At this point we're all thinking..."Why don't we ask him what was going down...happening over there on his boat?" Everyone is apprehensive to break the ice with the public beej taker, and then suddenly someone shoots out...says, "So, I see you've got a boat? That's pretty sweet."

That single statement changed what could have been a fairly standard evening into a drunken debacle of epic proportions. However, I will leave the remainder of this story for tomorrow--I hate cliffhangers as much as the next person (trust me) but this time its necessary or I'll have written nearly the full content of my life's memoirs by the time this blog is finished...maybe not such a bad thing though??? Anyway like I said, I will try to wrap up this epic tale tomorrow...Stay tuned.