Interestingly enough I've started reading other people's blogs as a result of undertaking this project. Research, mockery and even enjoyment are a few of the reasons for my dabbling into these other blogs. I did a little research before starting this blog on the overall formatting, what to expect, what website to have it hosted on, mostly the logistical stuff. Well now I'm realizing that most peoples blogs aren't actual blogs (at least in the sense of the "style" I've been keeping with on this website), they're photo-journals, cool website posting grounds or pictures of cats with funny captions.
I'm fine with all that I mean its clear that blogging everyday is a bit of work and it can get hectic trying to scrounge around and think of something new to blog about, hence the reason I'm blogging about blogging. But I would think that these sites would want to include some sort of personal touch to it or journal-esque flair, I mean isn't that the point of the blog to begin with?
Yesterday I touched on the fact that I'm apparently either no longer the target audience for SNL and Rolling Stone Magazine or they've decided to whore themselves out to the lowest bidder, personally I'm hoping for the latter. But I've been beginning to notice that this is not an isolated incident. It's also not a simple fact of I'm getting older (or at least I hope its not--no actually I know its not, please read on). I've been noticing that ad agencies are also suddenly either out of the loop or perhaps they're trying to get me to buy something I would otherwise have no interest in. I'm speaking specifically of the Enzytes, Cialis and Chop-Slaps of the world.
I've noticed it the most when I'm watching things on Comedy Central. One moment you're sitting there watching South Park or The Daily Show and the next moment I'm being told "To be ready in case the moment strikes". Yeah, because nothing says let's bang like watching animated teenage boys. I mean I know if I'm trying to market something for erectile dysfunction I'd definitely want to do it during a show where the average watching age is probably 14. I mean maybe I was the odd one out, but I'm not sure 14 year old boys are really having any problems going from 6 to Midnight at the drop of a dime.
The other thing about this is why the hell are they in two separate outdoor tubs? I mean first of all where do they get these tubs? Isn't incredibly inconvenient to fill these tubs? What are they doing it one bucket at a time? Also it looks like they're basically on someone's unfinished patio in the middle of nowhere, meaning they're not exactly going to have running water or a hose, so what do they have an old school bucket brigade filling up these tubs for them? And by the time they do get these tubs filled aren't they going to be cold, or at the very least lukewarm? That right there is probably the reason the dude is having a hard time getting it up, he's sitting in ice cold bath water! The least they could do is somehow cram into the same damn tub out in their alfalfa field, I mean maybe the body heat would keep the water a bit warmer and then he might not need to use so much Enzyte anymore...Come on people its simple physics.
Another contradiction in this flaccid ad campaign is the fact that they follow the Enzyte commercials up with an endless barrage of Girls Gone Wild commercials. I mean if I'm Peter Enzyte I'm pissed about this, I'm selling something that will get guys to stand attention but a second later their giving the shit away for free? I don't think anyone will ever accuse Joe Francis of being a stupid guy, sure he's a prick and he "takes advantage of young women" but you only say that because either your jealous of him or jealous of the girls, deal with it you're not going to get your GGW beads for showing your tats at Spring Break anymore, that window is now officially closed. Maybe Enzyte should rethink their marketing campaign forget South Park as a potentially untapped audience, because the only time anyone stops fast forwarding their TiVo during commercials is when they see "HOT COLLEGE COEDS!" making out.
And what the hell is with this Slap-Chop guy? I mean I remember infomercials being on at odd hours of the day, but Billy Mays and this Slap-Chopper have blown this thing out of proportions and are taking it PRIME-TIME baby! Since when did a guy selling shitty trinkets made in China become a commercial that should be airing during LOST or MadMen? I mean those aren't cheap timeslots, the guy making commercials with the grainy handheld camera can afford that? The funny thing about this is that faux-hawk, Jager-bomb pounding douche actually says, "You're gonna love my nuts" in his commercial and for some reason no one bats an eye. Maybe its context, but I have a feeling if Bob the guy from the Enzyte commercials says "You're gonna love my nuts" the FCC would have choppers touching down in that alfalfa field in less time than it takes to fill those damn tubs.
I sort of wonder if anyone actually buys any of this shit off of TV, if so please let me know because I'm dying to find out if you actually get an autographed Graty just for ordering in the next five minutes--because you know we can't do this all day folks.
a coworker has purchased a slap chop, sham-wow, and a snuggie. Astonishingly each has worked as advertised. Also, enzyte makes your penis bigger but doesn't necessarily give you a boner. That's the realm of viagra, levitra, cialis... i know this b/c of commercials, not b/c of... anything else
ReplyDeletemaybe the ezyte commercials during south park make a little more sense then...14 yr olds wanting to be "all that they can be", seems to all make sense now...
ReplyDelete